That won a little smile out of him, at least - even a rueful little laugh. It was hard not to, both because it was such a genuinely nice gesture, and because it was so close to what they'd told Remus back when they first confronted him about it.
Well. It had been chocolate cake, not cups of tea. Same principle, though.
He ran his hands over his mouth, glancing up at the staircase to the boys' dorm. "Honestly?" The smile was gone, as soon as it had come. "I don't want you to keep away from me. Not if you don't want to, not if you know. Just..." He was chewing on his lip, and he didn't seem to have noticed that in doing so, he'd reopened a split; there was a bead of crimson swelling under his teeth. "...I know you don't like me a whole lot. But you were kind of right, you know. I... I could use a friend." It felt like a betrayal just to say it out loud, and he hastened to clarify: "I mean, don't get me wrong, the Marauders are still there! It's just... well, Remus blames himself, and Pete keeps apologising for not stopping me, and Sirius..."
He trailed off. It was hard to know what to say about Sirius. Sirius blames himself, too, and he should, because it's his bloody fault. That wasn't fair. And it definitely wasn't something to say to anyone who didn't know all the context.
"...Sirius has a lot on his plate already." That was true, anyway. "You know. Family shit. It'd be nice to have someone I could just... talk to?" He looked away, hunching his shoulders a little. "Solemnly swear not to come onto you."
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Date: 2021-09-26 02:17 am (UTC)Well. It had been chocolate cake, not cups of tea. Same principle, though.
He ran his hands over his mouth, glancing up at the staircase to the boys' dorm. "Honestly?" The smile was gone, as soon as it had come. "I don't want you to keep away from me. Not if you don't want to, not if you know. Just..." He was chewing on his lip, and he didn't seem to have noticed that in doing so, he'd reopened a split; there was a bead of crimson swelling under his teeth. "...I know you don't like me a whole lot. But you were kind of right, you know. I... I could use a friend." It felt like a betrayal just to say it out loud, and he hastened to clarify: "I mean, don't get me wrong, the Marauders are still there! It's just... well, Remus blames himself, and Pete keeps apologising for not stopping me, and Sirius..."
He trailed off. It was hard to know what to say about Sirius. Sirius blames himself, too, and he should, because it's his bloody fault. That wasn't fair. And it definitely wasn't something to say to anyone who didn't know all the context.
"...Sirius has a lot on his plate already." That was true, anyway. "You know. Family shit. It'd be nice to have someone I could just... talk to?" He looked away, hunching his shoulders a little. "Solemnly swear not to come onto you."